My haiku title has an extra syllable. It bothers me more than it should.
I am currently listening to "study music for concentration" on youtube. It's the same short piano prelude repeated for four hours. I'm on my second play through of the night, no big deal. How long have you been studying? That is the weird thing about medical students; we are weirdly competitive about how much we study and also how much we sleep. Not in the lack of sleep but in the gain of sleep. For example; a normal conversation between the kids I sit with in class is as follows:
"How long did you study last night?"
"Oh wow! You must not have gotten any sleep!"
"No! Actually, I slept at 10"
"Oh, well I studied 8.1 hours and slept at 9:30. I'm really sorry you're not adjusting to medical school well"
It's not insulting so much as a verification that we are all incredibly cool people. I am readily eying the clock as I type this at 9:18 PM.
Onto the human heart(s)! That's right folks, I held not one, not two, but THREE human hearts today. That makes five in my 23 year span. 1 at Rosalind Franklin, 3 today, and my very own (I count it, after all, it is my pericardium that's holding it). Hearts are cool. I say cool a lot, because I'm cool, that's a thing cool people do right? Say cool? Cool. Hearts may be my favorite thing about medical school so far. God, that was creepy. Apologies. I can tell because normally, I write 2-3 sentences of notes per slide in anatomy but today, when we covered the heart, I wrote veritable essays for each slide. Literally every word Dr. Nwosu said is immortalized in lime green ink. More so, I have a very sore hand today. I finally have found a specialty that I might consider rather than quickly crossing it off the list. Look at me, three weeks into medical school and I've got it all figured out. I don't know if my sarcasm was evident there but in case it was not, I most certainly do not have it all figured out. Like, whatever the exact opposite of figured out is- that's me. A good analogy for how I feel in my day to day life is like someone treading water only so well enough to keep their nostrils above water. But it's surprisingly fun. Some people push their bodies to see how far they can go and I feel like we're pushing our brains. Yeah, I can be pretty deep, I know.
Block week is approaching! Is this block week? I don't know, it might be. All I know is I have 4 days to get it together. I'm feeling pretty confident until someone says something that I've never heard of and then I'm all "this was a terrible decision, I should have pursued retail work". But all in all- marginally confident. Confident enough to take time out to write this post, right? (That will be sooo funny if I end up failing something).
I highly regret drinking coffee at 5, now I will not win the sleep competition. In other news, I make terrible coffee. I have both made "iced tea" coffee and "sludge" coffee. A delicate balance has yet to be found. I miss my keurig. Thankfully, the greatest mother to walk the earth, bought me one for my apartment next semester. All will be well, I will once more be caffeinated with delicious tasting coffee rather than... whatever I make.
IN OTHER NEWS: I have no phone, it has died and gone on, if you feel so inclined to reach me.. I don't know, send an owl.